Do I have a Healthy Relationship with Social Media?

By Tiffany Brazda

Let’s get real, we all know social media is addictive. It’s designed to be a time suck. Did you know that your phone could notify you up to 4,500 times a day? 

Your English teacher may have busted you a couple of times sharing a TikTok with your girls. But at what point is it actually hurting you? 

If you can’t sit through class without wishing you could check your phone, you may need to adjust. 

“This may be a sign that you’re relying too heavily on others' opinions and feedback and giving others too much power in your life,” said Dr. Kelly Tamayo, a clinical psychologist at Complete Behavioral Health in Omaha, Nebraska. 

We know people can do some shady stuff online. What’s worse, if you’re being trolled, that can take a huge toll on you. 

“If you find yourself feeling sad, inadequate, angry, or resentful in reaction to things you see and read, it's a sign that your emotional resources are low and you need to replenish them,” Tamayo said. 

So if any of this checks the boxes for you, what’s the best way to loosen social media’s grip on you? 

Tamayo suggests limiting yourself to 30-60 minutes or less per day. Also, take a look at what accounts you’re following. Are they full of drama? Find new influencers to follow that inspire you, not drag you down. 

For Alejandra Wells, 15, an adjustment period was needed to realign her relationship with her phone. 

"It took me a while to grow a healthy relationship with social media and my phone,” Wells said. 

She said taking breaks, hanging out with a friend, playing sports or just coloring, has helped her keep things in check. 

If you need a little more help, organizations like Nebraska-based Smart Gen Society have your back. The organization led by founder and CEO Amie Konwinski offers tools to help you make safety, privacy and mental health a top priority. 

“We have developed a workbook that looks at how our relationship with our devices is affecting our mental health and how to mindfully shift our relationship with it,” Konwinski said. 

She said if you are cutting off social media, you’ll need to replace it with something else. 

“We prompt students to remember the things and activities they did before social media – or perhaps delve into something new,” she said. 

She said it can take about two weeks to detox, with the first three days being the hardest. Replace time spent on social media with something fun. Plan an adventure with friends, take a walk, or do a hobby that excites you. 

Other tips Konwinski gave include deleting apps from your phone (you can reinstall them later), changing your phone to black-and-white mode or ditching it in another room. 

Remember, this doesn’t mean you and social media are over forever. 

“Social media is not ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ it is a neutral tool that gives the user the ability to connect with others outside their everyday face-to-face interactions,” Konwinski said. 

Use it as a tool to build community, stay informed, or take a little break with some cute cat videos. 

Wells suggests really looking within to know when you need to adjust your relationship with social media. 

“When you know it’s wrong, it’s wrong,” she said. “Always trust your gut and know when to stop. It has a lot to do with integrity and respect for yourself and others.”